![]() Finally! Some ruthless queen-bee antics! Some sabotage and scandal! Maybe some SAT score switching? We’ve waited a whole season for this, and now it’s finally here. After Julien pays her grounded ass a visit, Monet alerts her to the fact that she’s waging war, whether Julien wants to engage or not. Dare I say Gossip Girl is getting bonkers and bitchy again? Even soapier, Kate and Mike are hiding out in the suite and witness the epic mother-daughter throwdown, which harks back to one Eleanor and Blair.įor Monet, this Mommie Dearest moment means mass destruction. In fact, Monet’s mom dresses her down in such a Dynasty-esque way I can’t help but be tickled. Inviting a man accused of sexual assault to a high-society gala? Mama is not happy with Monet. I know she is trying to make a statement, but is that statement supposed to be wearing something hideous? She also surprise-invites Julien’s disgraced dad, which Camille is pissed about. I have questions about that blue dress she dons. She, too, was planning on swapping out her male escort for a female, but it looks like someone beat her to the punch. Meanwhile, Zoya continues marching to the beat of her TikTok-pilled drum and invites a debutante’s girlfriend to escort her, heteronormativity be damned! This steals the spotlight from Monet and her moment. Monet finagles a spot for Julien on the deb list, and even though Julien has to borrow Zoya’s dad to be presented, she eventually caves and agrees. Monet has a scheme up her sleeve, and Julien seems to be remotely aware that something is up. Kate clearly has some moral bones to pick with this, but just remember that this is a grown woman running a gossip account for teenagers, so I’d say her North Star is a little skewed.īack to the ball: The drama of the debutante is teased out throughout the entire episode. Nick is pulling some tricks of his own, keeping Davis’s money a secret from his daughter and Julien and instead crediting a nonexistent promotion as the reason they can stay in their place. She’s then forced to grovel to Nick and beg him to take her as a plus-one under the guise of her being Julien’s college counselor, which makes no sense, but sure. He’s showered with holiday gifts from parents and nabs a coveted invite to the debutante ball, which sends Kate straight into a spiral. He kicks Miss Kate out of her classroom and into the basement and seems to be buddy-buddy with the CDHs of the school. ![]() We meet a “new” teacher, Mike Schuben, Russian classics, or an old one returning from sabbatical despite looking 30. She’s thinking about her M.B.A.! And fighting for shower time with her sister! Now the show can focus on a prep-school power struggle, as the good Cecily von Ziegesar intended. She’s not making good on her threat to mutually destroy. Maybe I’m missing something, but it doesn’t seem like she’s actively trying to take down GG in this episode. Why would audiences care about stale stories? Look what mass submissions did to DeuxMoi. I’m relieved they killed Julien and Gossip Girl’s “alliance” at the end of this episode. Kate agrees but has a condition of her own: Julien’s gotta send dirt on Camille de Haan, Monet’s mommy. You know I hate you, but I know you love me. Mutually assured destruction, from one bitch to another. While you go hard till there’s nothing left, I make it my mission to stop you before you ruin us all. That’s the only way you change the world. Not all of it will be true, and you’re not going to know the difference. I’m going to send you everything you never knew about everyone I know. You started with me, so it only makes sense that you restart with me. If you really want to get us, you have to make us worry. ![]() A tip, though, from one influencer to another, you were too nice. ![]() ![]() You were the worst thing that ever happened to me, but you also changed me. You may have abandoned us, but I can’t forget you. after she, Wendy, and Jordan seized the username from that old-lady teacher Sharon. We left last season with Julien sending a yassified, #girlbossed DM to Gossip Girl, who is now being manned by Kate & Co. For the rest of you, I am so sorry I have to remind you of these two words: Julien’s voice-over. Where did we leave things? Ten points to anyone who could remember without rewatching the finale. #Monet gossip girl fullTo recap, literally, Aki, Audrey, and Max are now a triad ( not a throuple), Monet has emerged as a bona fide Blair Waldorf 2.0 after being fed up with Julien’s gentle reign and has her sights set on the top spot, Zoya’s social-justice antics are in full force and is annoyed as ever with her dad, Nick (and who could blame her?), and Kate Keller is as thirsty as ever to dig up dirt on Camille de Haan (be serious!) and use the powers of Gossip Girl “for good,” whatever that means. We’re heading home from Hudson and ringing in the new year with a war of mutual destruction. ![]()
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